Exchange with Woman II

There's a woman at work who sits in my wing, but who is part of another department. I've worked with her briefly once or twice. She's always nice, but has sort of an urgently distracted air about her - one that seems to go along with being a project leader or supervisor. So she never would stop to chat or anything when I'd say hello, but I sort of admired her for it. Always importantly busy.

The day we were leaving for Texas I was heading out of work early. She was walking downstairs behind me and was suddenly compelled to strike up a conversation... about the size of my waist. Now she's probably in her late 30's to early 40's, and I always thought she was perfectly attractive for someone who worked a full-time, sedentary office job. But for some reason my waist bothered her. "You're so tiny! Every time I see your waist, I think, 'Ahh, I can't look at you!' ", she said that day.

These conversations make me very uncomfortable, though I haven't had to deal with them since my early college years. So I was wholly unprepared to respond and was just able to stop myself from apologizing outright. But all sorts of inadequate responses came pouring into my head as I stammered lamely. I always feel compelled to explain myself, or to act like I know exactly how she feels, though I don't think I've ever consciously resented a woman for being more fit than me, or of a more attractive size / shape.

I don't mean to sound over-confident - I'm very self-conscious and often insecure about how I look when I'm at work. It's just that I've always been a fairly small person who thoroughly enjoys a good tennis game, bike ride, or the occasional jog. I could try to put on more weight, but it would involve not doing things I enjoy and things that make me feel good. I wondered if I should explain to her about my thyroid disorder. I decided instead to complain about how my pants don't fit at the end of the summer from all the bike-riding I do. "Hehe... I guess you just can't win", I simpered. I felt like such an ass, but thankfully she laughed and started talking about baking pies and eating them. I don't think she was really convinced that I could relate on that topic, but maybe if she keeps talking to me she'll discover that I also genuinely enjoy baking and eating pies, and that I'm not starving myself in order to make people feel bad about themselves.